Divorcing but Still Living Together – Can It Work?

Living in the marital home but beginning the divorce process can be challenging for many reasons; financial constraints, the emotional impact and the practicalities of parenting. Communication is key, and both parties should consider the following when initiating a divorce whilst still living together:

Financial constraints and practical living arrangements

The main financial asset in your marriage is likely the family home, which usually has an attached mortgage. Both you and your spouse are typically jointly liable for this mortgage. Meeting mortgage payments while also paying rent on a new property can often be unaffordable. If your spouse moves to a rental property, they may not be expected to contribute to the mortgage. However, this leaves you responsible for the full mortgage payment, which can be financially challenging.

In most cases, couples living together during a divorce maintain separate routines, including sleeping arrangements and household responsibilities. This approach allows both of you to adjust to living separately under the same roof. Some couples inform their children early about the divorce and establish routines to accommodate the children’s lives with minimal disruption. One approach, often called “nesting,” involves parents rotating weekends in the family home, each taking turns to care for the children. This arrangement can ease the transition to a future co-parenting routine.

Initiating the legal process and division of finances

The divorce application, submitted online, can be filed individually or as a joint application and can be done so whilst you both still live together. Many couples place the divorce application on hold initially, as remaining legally married provides greater financial protections than those available to an ex-spouse. During this period, you may work with your spouse to reach a voluntary agreement on dividing finances. Mediation, legal assistance, or the One Couple, One Lawyer process (Resolution Together) are some approaches for negotiating a suitable financial settlement. Engaging in these processes with legal guidance ensures both of you have a clear understanding of shared assets and liabilities.

Pensions can also be significant marital assets. Although family lawyers can provide general advice on dividing pensions, you may need a Pensions on Divorce Expert (PODE) to evaluate the specifics due to a pensions’ complex nature. If an amicable financial settlement cannot be reached, court intervention may be necessary. Although it’s often seen as a last resort, a court application ensures that the division of marital finances reaches a legally binding conclusion.

Personal safety considerations

In some cases, financial or logistical difficulties make it challenging for you and your spouse to live separately. However, if either your well-being or that of your children is at risk, physical separation may be the only safe option.

Arranging a divorce while living together can be complex and emotionally charged. It's essential to prioritise open communication and establish clear boundaries to help both parties adjust during this transitional phase. Addressing financial responsibilities and exploring co-parenting options can create a more stable environment for you and your children.

As you move forward, it is important you seek legal advice to understand your rights, especially regarding asset division and custody arrangements. While this situation presents unique challenges, it can also offer opportunities for collaboration and support, with a focus on safety and well-being for everyone involved.

For specialist legal advice on divorce, contact us on 01255 320 555 or email mail@clarkeandson.co.uk.